The end

So this is really late but, the program Converge I was apart of is over. I made it through a nine month life shaping experience. It was so very hard. At points I wanted to quit, but there is something about finishing strong. God showed me alot over the last nine months about how He has made me and how I can be more effective with how he has made me.

One of the biggest things Ive learned about myself is learning the importance of living in the now and present. We all have ups and downs but we cant live in them we have to allow the good and bad to happen and live in the middle of that. Allow God to work and push through.

This is my last post on this Blog. I will start another one but, thank you for those of you who have kept up with my life and whats been going on over the last nine months. Thank you for the prayer request. Ill post the new blog on my facebook when I get it running.

Ive been running a lot more as of late, and I love the feeling of being healthy but hate the process. You start off and you feel fine. Tell yourself well this isn't bad. I don't mind this so much. Then you get about a mile and your thoughts go from this is fine to, I hope I can push through the next four miles. I hope my legs don't give out. I can do this I'm going to be fine. You keep your mind on the finish and push. Around mile three your legs start to say, i don't know if you noticed but I'm tired and would like to no longer be in pain. You know your so close and you only have to push a little bit harder and the race is done. You tell yourself only a little more. You can't let up now, your almost done. You need to finish well, you can't walk. So you push harder and pray that there is energy enough to get you across the line. You finally meet your goal and cross the line. The sweat coming off you is evidence that you ran the race well. you pushed and gave it everything you had.
Why is it so hard to finish well? The end of the race is near and your body wants to give out. You can either allow the pain to wash over you, or push through. And you know pushing is another word for painful. The runner knows that if they are running the race well the end will be the most painful but the most gratifying if ran well. This translates to our lives so easily. When faced with a task, goal, project, program, schooling, or whatever we face the point of do i finish well?

I'm at the end of a nine month program at Sandy Cove Ministries, and I have to ask the question am I finishing well? Am I running the race to the fullest or throwing in the towel? It is not easy, it is not fun, but the value of pushing through this last little bit of pain will shape me even more. I would like to think I have grown up some since coming here and that God has used things here to shape more into the man I am to be. My race has been full of hills and obstacles but I can see the end and my prayer is that I would finish well. That at the end I can feel every muscle ache, every bone hurt because I ran so hard to the finish line.

My race does not end here though, My God has more for me to do. So when this journey in my life comes to an end, I will begin another and run to my fullest. If your reading this I ask that You pray for me and the others in this program that we would finish well and keep seeking Christ. Salvation does just happen at the cross and stay there. It is hard race we must all keep going on. So please pray for us. And if there is anything I can pray for let me know.

Accepting the mountains

I am not very old but of the years that I have been on this earth I have learned that life will give you ups and downs. When this happens, how we react is so key. I know, I tend to be my own worst critic and live in my downs. When I operate like this, things become more than they should be. My downs become this huge weight and seem impossible to overcome. My days become more exhausting because Im not accepting the mountain in front of me. In life we meet troubles and sometimes we have to accept the little victories. For the most part I just see the mountains in my life and cant see the small victory. I just see the pain or the problem. I read the other day if we live for the peaks of mountains or getting through the valleys our lives wont be fulfilled. And to often I find myself doing so. We have to live for the small breakthroughs other wise we wont get anywhere. And be living from highs to your lows making life harder on yourself. Trust me I live through it. Live and accept the mountains, step by step.

Contentment

Contentment, what does this look like in your life? In mine I have not mastered it quite yet. I find myself being complacent more than content. As many Christians I have found myself saying, “God is enough” or “God fills me, what more do I need?” But that is not the case. I desire more. I know what the right answer is; I know that it’s my flesh or physical nature versus the spirit.  

The only real difference between the two words is one’s self. When we gain self-satisfaction we are complacent. When we get satisfaction not from our own doing we are content.

In my devotional Morning and Evening I read this: “These words show us that contentment is not a natural propensity of man. “Ill weeds grow apace.” Covetousness, discontent, and murmuring are as natural to man as thorns are to the soil. We need not sow thistles and brambles; they come up naturally enough, because they are indigenous to earth: and so, we need not teach men to complain; they complain fast enough without any education. But the precious things of the earth must be cultivated. If we would have wheat, we must plough and sow; if we want flowers, there must be the garden, and all the gardener’s care. Now, contentment is one of the flowers of heaven, and if we would have it, it must be cultivated; it will not grow in us by nature; it is the new nature alone that can produce it, and even then we must be specially careful and watchful that we maintain and cultivate the grace which God has sown in us.”

It is not our nature to do what is right; it is not our nature to do the good and honest thing. I do believe we are all inclined to follow our sinful nature. It is a battle to be in the spirit. That is why it takes work to have faith.  That is why we are called to put on the amour of God. It is a battle and our physical self without Christ is strong. A friend of mine said something that goes like this, “me by myself is ugly, it is evil and wants nothing good, but with Christ I am beautiful and good.” We have to understand this disconnect to understand the idea of complacency and contentment. Self versus Christ has been a fight since the fall.

 The principle I have been trying to teach myself, especially as of late is what Paul said in Philippians 4:11: “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” Being content as I said before is not something easy, even Paul spoke of how it was something he had to learn. In my life I find it so easy to be complacent, it is so easy to see what I think of done. My ego is a great beast that I must fight, because when I really look at things the only way I accomplish anything is through God. The only way we do anything in life is by grace and we are lucky it flows like a river. So often we abuse this.

So learning contentment is like anything else it takes time and effort and who wants to do that on top of everything else in life? Life consumes us and we get stuck with the me monster. Oh but we have church on Sundays so we can make ourselves feel better. I find this to be a sick practice many follow. We leave God at the church buildings on Sunday and the rest of the week we say we are enough, we can get through it. Then Sunday we ask God, where were you at? Why did you help me in my situation? Why wouldn’t you give me what I want? Does anything sound wrong here?  We forget to take the me or I out and see that it’s not our will or plan that matters. Otherwise you’re stuck being complacent and serving yourself. Don’t leave Christ at church it’s not a place to manage your sins or the only place to work on contentment.  To master something it is said to take over 10,000 hours. If the only place you’re doing this is church you have some work to do my friend. “Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person” (Albert Einstein). God does not want some or a little he wants all of us. So when learning to be content you have to go big or go home. God will spit you out for being lukewarm do you think it is any different if your heart is not in being content. Pride is a killer; do not let yours kill the blessing that waits.

I am still trying to learn this truth; I am no master of it yet. But I hope and pray and will continue on my way. Contentment is not easy it is not natural, but it is something I am working towards. I do not want to settle for complacency, my will is not good enough. Apart from Christ I am nothing, remembering that disconnect is one step towards being content. I hope you have been encouraged by this reminder and you to are on your way to learning to be content.  

Poor and Rich

The idea of being poor is not something many wish for I assume. I don't think people wake up in the morning and say man I wish that I didn't have a house or a car. Money is the way of the world and for a lot of people the standard of which you find value. Money causes downfalls, corruption, and jealousy within the heart. Better yet the use or view of money is viewed this way, not money itself. Why is it that we as humans can't get away from desiring money? We want it because it gives us power.

I know that in my own life I have often found myself wanting more of it, and that I despair when I do not. It is hard to get through this world without having money. The way of the world has a strong pull. Something I am trying to learn and put to practice is the idea of being poor but rich.

Being poor but rich; being poor in the physical but rich in the spirit. We are rich in Christ and we find great worth in him. But to often we forget that fact and find ourselves lost. We, I think that at times because I am not blessed with money I am not rich. Money can overwhelm and make our wants fall away from what God wants. It is a path changer.

The idea of completely relying on God is scary to me. It is scary because the male figure was never there for me in my childhood. With no real father figure to go on, the idea of God taking care me and always being there was scary. And with my father being gone life was harder. My mom bless her heart did everything possible to give me and my brother a normal life. Trying to give us everything we wanted and make us want for nothing. She instilled in us a good view on working and faith. Without her I would be just another fatherless rebel. Adding to the ever long stats on a fatherless home. But by Gods grace I had a mother that cared.

With all this going on around me I had to mature a little faster than those around me. With every guy stepping in trying to be a father figure leaving my life after a time it was easy to become bitter and not wanting to trust. My spirit was bankrupt. My faith empty. I did not know the truth I know now.The truth that your circumstances do not define you, your status does not define you, money does not define you. It is something I have wrestled with for years. I want so badly to know what is like to want for nothing to live in ease. To know that when a bill comes I dont have to worry. But thats not life, thats not how we grow. My director always says, "you know your growing if you're changing for the better and it hurts, pain indicates growth."

 So my whole life until now, I have been groomed to realize a simple truth, that I am rich beyond belief. That the God of heaven and earth dwells within me and I want for nothing. I have a father in heaven that sustains my spirit, how could I believe that he wouldn't sustain my physical life as well. I have a God who loves me, a God whose mercies flow like a river, a God whose grace is everlasting, a God who see's me as worth it. He does not turn away from me He does come too my aid. So yes I am rich, I am not poor.

Where is the love?

The past couple days I have gotten to spend it at Camp Hebron at the sectionals for CCCA. I will be honest going into it I was not looking forward to it but it is funny how times like that you get surprised and learn so much. We had the honor of hearing Duffy Robbins speak, and man did he speak and hit me with a new truth each time.

One example in particularly that he spoke on hit me like a brick. He said that when speaking to a group at an event he had a young girl come up on the stage and act like she was holding a cup of water and he bumped into her and said hey you spilled. He asked her, do you know what came out of that cup? Looking at him confused, she said water because that is what was inside it. Duffy then proceeded to say imagine if you being filled with the holy spirit and someone bumps into you, what comes out? What if that was a truth for us all. What if when someone bumped into you and Christs love came out, the grace of God came out. What if the irrational passion of a Father that came and humbled himself and died came out. How radical of a thought and sad to think that doesn't always happen. Is this something that can be accomplished? Is it possible that when you get cut off on the highway or wrongly judged to show Christ and love? Is it possible that when you are outside of church and life happens that you could be a christian and act like Christ? Or did I miss the part in Sunday school where it says the world shall over come?

No! Christ is greater and is greater still and should be in our lives. Being Christlike is not something that is easy. It is not all rainbows and sunshine, it comes at a cost. And the hardest thing to do is to love those around you, but why?

Another story that impacted me this weekend goes as such: There is a block party and this guy who is there enjoying the party and food is talking with some people. Some time goes on and he feels a tug on his shirt, he looks down to find a girl of about the age of 2 with arms held high. We understand this as the sign for hold me. He has no idea who this little girl is or who she belongs to. His fingers covered in sauce says not now honey I am busy. Time goes by and a little bit later he feels a tug at his shirt. It is the same girl, again he says not now I am busy. He then proceeds to watch as she goes around the table only to be denied each time. He is wondering where is this girls mother, her father? He soon forgets and engages back into conversation. Some time later he looks up to see a man jump in the pool with all his clothes on, people rushing over. Naturally he does the same to see what is going on. To find the man pulling a small body from the water to the side as quick as he can. People are trying to breath life into this small body which he now sees is the little girl. By the time they herd the sounds of the EMS they knew she was gone. Now emotions flowing, this man who had denied her twice of attention is thinking why. He finds out a few days later that this was not the first time that the girl had jumped in a pool. Her mother was marrying a guy who did not want her and so she did not receive love, so to get attention she would jump in the pool. Only this time no one noticed.

Who in your life is reaching out for love and you are not showing it? Are we letting those that are around us drown? Are we showing the love of God? This was something I wrestled with. Not only had I been challenged with when people interact with me is Christ coming out, but now I am being asked am I truly loving through Christ? Because apart for God I can do nothing. My world was being shaken, my heart hoping that people in my life felt that I loved on them. But the reality of seeing I can do better and show the love of Christ better.

The kingdom of God is already here in the way we reach out to others. One day we will see the physical kingdom but we can represent the kingdom in how we live. Christ likeness is not saying how can I be perfect, but how can I serve others, reach out to the needy and represent the Father. It is obedience to Christ and saying I want for nothing. Saying that my heart is at the plow but ready for the alter. I will do the work of God until He calls me home. And why? Because He loved and didn't have to. So I ask why love, because God has called you to. Speak life and love into peoples lives, don't let your neighbor drown while you have the peace that is Christ.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

I Get It, I'm desperate.

Remember going to summer camps and getting on that spiritual high (most likely from all the Mountain Dew) going crazy for God and saying I am gonna change? Do you remember the week after when your like crap I need to go back to camp to get back on fire, or maybe to go back and see the girl you met at the mud pit. Either way you realized something is wrong and you start wondering did I hear God. I was that kid. I didn't take it serious and God has way of getting our attention. I remember finally growing out of that and saying alright God faith needs a little WD-40 and spit to work I cant just sit around.

After that moment God hasn't given up on showing me more and more of Him and making me work. I have seen God work but for the longest time I would always say to my mom; I don't understand how people say they hear God I don't hear him. I struggled with this idea, was I not good enough, was I not strong enough in my faith, was it just that I was spiritually hard of hearing, was I to go light a bush on fire and hope God would talk to me? I was so lost on this concept.

I finally got it, I had my duh moment. So when I prayed, hey God I am thinking that I want to go college, and I don't know where. You send people I have never met or told of my plans and they say go to LBC and you provide the money maybe that's you talking. Or I say God I am broken show me what you want from my life and what you are trying to teach me. And I can't pick up the bible or my devotional book without you saying abide in me and I will overfill your cup if you trust in me. Maybe I should listen, maybe I get it.

God has been so good to me and I have overlooked it. God has blessed us with life each and everyday, is it to much to ask for us to be desperate for him, I mean he only paid for us with his son. Do you wake up each and everyday saying, I can't wait to meet with my Father. I know that's a question I wasn't asking for a long time and now I don't know why God didn't just slap me. As much as you value each breath you should value God ten times more. God is speaking just take time and listen. He desires us more than anything, why do you think love is so talked about in the bible. For he so loved, so why cant you? Listen and be desperate for a father who loves you. God will show you the plans he has for your life.

So next time you think, I wish God would call just look around you might feel dumb and have a duh moment because God is trying to show you something. Seek first the Kingdom and then live it.

Broken

Life is not always what we expect. It does not work out how we want or see it. Our desires are not a must. God is not a candy machine that we pay a dollar and get a pay day. But we treat him that way, I know i do at times. I expect God to fix everything. I feel like a lot of times we think I will pray about and wait for God to take care of it. But that is not how it works. We have to put the work in for something to happen. What does one do when you have no idea what God wants? What can you do when you have no idea out of the many things to cry out to God about?

These are questions that i was struggling over, and I felt completely lost. A good friend of mine spoke on the idea of being in "the land between" over the summer. This idea comes from the people of Israel time in the wilderness. God had a plan for them and saved them from slavery only for His people to complain and go against his will. They were stuck and waiting on what God had next. This idea can be so easily translated into our lives. We want to know what is next and how to get it done. We always are looking for the cliff notes in life's situation. But we have to have faith in the good and bad.

I'm saying that after struggling to do so. I have over the last few weeks struggled with the lack of growth and not seeing God work in my life. Part of it might have been my heart filling with bitterness, I was not accepting some things happening around me or feeling like I had some injustice was done. I was just like the people of God complaining and unhappy with God.

But if i would have just been aiding in God I would have dealt with my bitterness. But I wasn't I wanted my way and to fix it on my own. This lead to frustration after frustration and I couldn't figure it out. I started think man God has got this wrong I am unhappy and I don't think I am where I need to be. Who am I to think I know better than God. I remember a night or two before new years eve literally crying out to God. Asking why I felt the way I did, what was he doing with me, what did he want from me, and if I was where he wanted. I was at my breaking point.

Feeling broken is not fun. Realizing that I have been fighting for my will and not even taking the time to pray if that was God will for me really made me think. Then God when I thought he had forgotten me answers in ways I did not expect. He sends people to say things like, Hey you are a blessing and you don't know it, or hey your where you are supposed to be and God is going to use you. I didn't tell anyone but God what I had been feeling. Right when I gave up my will and felt like I couldn't go on God sends word.

I see now my heart was hard and my ears closed because of pride and not allowing time for my Father. A good friend of mine Aaron said if your investing in Christ and putting time in with him always seeking Him and what he wants, He will make His desires something you desire. I have felt a peace since that, I have felt more at peace waking up and making time for God. I do not think I will not find more troubles along the way but I have something that satisfies and I need to always seek that. It is hard to trust what you can not see but that is faith, I have a God that can meet my spiritual needs why cannot I trust for the physical as well? This is something that is a growing point for me and something I am getting better at. Life is not what we expect, it is not something that works out how we want or see it, and it is not about what we desire. And I am so happy about that, because I have a God that is working that out and has me in his hands.

CHRISTIAN! here is all thou canst require. To make thee happy thou wantest something that shall satisfy thee; and is not this enough? If thou canst pour this promise into thy cup, wilt thou not say, with David, "My cup runneth over; I have more than heart can wish"? When this is fulfilled, "I am thy God," art thou not possessor of all things? Desire is insatiable as death, but He who filleth all in all can fill it. The capacity of our wishes who can measure? but the immeasurable wealth of God can more than overflow it. I ask thee if thou art not complete when God is thine? -Charles Spurgeon

The Reason

There is a lot going on being that it is the Christmas season. Everyone rushing around trying to get their last second shopping done, or decoration on the house and tree. The stores get more busy and hectic and the roads get more congested and frustrating. Sons and daughters are coming home to families to spend time with loved ones.

When you get home you get that warm feeling, a Hallmark moment. Seeing family is a joyous occasion and something to be cherished. It is something to value. We as a society look at christmas as a great time of joy and happiness. All the family gathered in one place fellowshiping together and loving on oneanother.

I think with all this hustle and bustle we can sometimes forget about why we should truely be happy. We have more than family, Christmas trees, cookies, presents, and snow to be happy for. There is an everlasting Hallmark moment to be found in this Christmas season.

A baby was given into death, grew into a man surround by the flesh and born into life. And the crazy thing is He took us with Him into this life. We are but shells of what is to come. There is a reason for the season. And it cant be found in a store, under the tree or miseltoe, or even in your family gathering. It is in Christ! He is the reason we can even enjoy this season. And to those that would read this and understand what I am saying are blessed to be enjoying a life of grace, but sadly some are not and thats our job. We should not just be thinking of Christ's death on the cross on Christmas and Easter. Thats to easy of a life and we are called to more. There are those that dont know the reason for the season.

And yes that means you have to do more than just open presents and such, there is a great work to do each and everyday. I say this not as one being perfect in that but understand Christ desires to know all his children and as we approach His birth i would ike to think of more than just Frosty and Rudolph. We have a reason to be merry, a reason to rejoice. And he sustains and fills us.

So as your rushing around or stuck in traffic take some time to pray for those around you because Christ loves all His children and was not just born into life for just you and me, but everyone. Remember the real reason for this wonderful Christmas season.

Fog

It always seems to be raining when I either drive home or back to North East. I think I have only have driven without rain about three to four times. But this time not only was it raining but foggy and gloom. I could barely see the cars around me or what surround the road. My vision being lessened I had to really focus on the road. It made me centered.

This got me thinking sometimes in life we find ourselves on a road and being distracted and fall away. But with the fog blinding me it took away from what i could see it guided my vision to the center to the end goal of getting back to sandy cove. I feel like a lot of the time I get so distracted by whats around me, I take away from what God has for me. My faith or purpose should guide me, center me like the fog did. My sin leads me astray but the with a mission or purpose it can be centered like the fog did to my driving.

I'm finding that's one of the reasons Sandy Cove is so blessed. The mission drives everything and everyone. A mission can be so powerful and empowering. Christ gave all of us a mission a purpose and there is power in that, and i need to keep that in mind. When Paul said he does the things he does not want to do, I have come to understand that all to well. I war within myself. But the mission as Mark P. Fisher would explain is a sword it has a point and is driving.

I would hope that my life would always be driven by a sword, that being Christ and his word. That i would always seek which is good. And I hope that for whoever reads this.

Ps. 16:11

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

I think allowing God to show us the path of life is the hard thing. So often I fight for my wants and how i want things to go. But if i only could just submit the rest of the verse could be true in my life more.

Times

The past two months at Sandy Cove have been filled with joy and a lot of pain. I keep getting told you know your growuing when you can sense some growth along with pain. And I gotta be honest I am tired of the pain. Growing is something that gives motivation but can be crippling. In the one sense, sweet I am gaining a better understanding of who I. But the other I am so broken and i have a lot that I have swept under the rug.

God is calling me out time and time again. I feel like a lil kid, I know what I did and I wanna hide under the bed and hope He doesnt find me out. The Shadow of Christ is to vast for me to hide from and im glad for that i cannot. I have been in some serious grace and love from my heavenly Father as I walk with my hand in front of me because this whole experience feels like im in the dark. These past two months have been times of renewal and times of growth. Times of anger, times of fustrastion, times of despair, times of lonelyness, times of being lost, times of being found, times of love, times of joy, times of laughter, and times of happeiness. God is good and when i have found myself on that rock with the waves all around me I am at peace becasue he has got my back. I have come to in these times over the last two months come to see how great the love of a father is for his son.

Being a man from a fatherless childhood this concept has always escaped me. There is a God who is my father that cares? That wont turn away or hide his loving words from me. That knows me, and desires depth from me. That's crazy to me, it may not e to some but to me it is foreign. God in all His greatness and power wants someone like me, broken and fatherless. Thats insane. And empoering. I have been called by my Father for more than living in the idea that i am a fatherless runt who will amount to nothing.

I have been in converge for two months and they have been a great two months of seeing God work. Seeing me get beat up and broken so God can oull the iniquity out. I am glad I have taken this different path.

Fasting

We were asked to pick something to fast from the past six weeks. Ill be honest when i first thought of this i wanted to say what wont hurt the most. I knew i was not having the right spirit about it whatsoever. I knew i had to pick something that i did alot and i came to Facebook. It was something i could give up, something i could live without.

I feel that i made it an idol, every time i got on the internet i was checking Facebook. So i gave it up because it was something that consumed my time. But it didn't hurt, it didn't make me think oh hey im not on Facebook. I did learn tho that there are alot of things in ours lives that we hold to highly and put value you on. And that there is so much better things to be spending time on.

Next week we are pick something new to fast from, and i will consider deeply the next thing i pick. I want to pick something interrupts my day so i am drawn to the Cross.

Acts 17:16-34

I like the way Paul approached the men in Athens. The men there were religious and high scholars men of high standard. Paul feeling the spirit did not attack them or condemn them. He did judge them and say you sinners i see your faults and your doomed. He waited for the spirit to lead him instead of charging in. And even then he waited and spoke with determination from a point of teaching to reach out to what they knew. He built a small relationship with them by coming out everyday and spoke.

These men were religious and high scholars of high scholar, so Paul taught the gospel from the what the knew. He took their idol worship and met them at their level to explain the gospel. "For as I passed along and observed the objects of your worship, I found also an altar with this inscription, 'To the unknown god.' What therefore you worship as unknown, this I proclaim to you. The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything. And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, in the hope that they might feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us, for
'In him we live and move and have our being';as even some of your own poets have said,
"'For we are indeed his offspring.' (Acts 17:23-28).

I am not opposed to the preaching on the street corner or fire and brimstone style preaching they have their place. But I like the idea of building some sort of relationship to share the gospel and meeting the person were they are at. Most people do not liked to be talked at or above. And like when people speak at the same level. Paul didn't raise himself above them but met them in the meeting place and spoke the same as any other teacher. They were interested in his teaching and wanted to know more. You can see the fruit of paul following the spirit at the end of the chapter, it says that some listened and believe.

Have you ever looked up?

From my title you may be wondering what the heck is this about? It's a simple question, have you ever looked up? the answer is not so simple. Because sure you have looked up plenty of times in life. You hear a plane you look up, playing baseball you look up to catch it, look at the stars or watch a sunset. But what have i mean is have you ever looked up at actually looked, looked at the details of the workmanship of God?

This past weekend us convergers were back in West Virginia closing down Camp Sandy Cove. The last time i was there i enjoyed myself greatly but didn't take the time to take in what was around me. Didn't pause and just look and listen.

When people say, look at creation to see God, and the thought comes to my mind, oh stop being a cliche Christian, sometimes things are cliche for a reason. I was in awe of how beautiful and detailed each and ever cloud and tree was as i just look around and had a moment of worship. I kept praying God reveal yourself. And i found Him in the cool air that cooled as we worked, the trees giving shade in the heat, the clouds passing overhead, the sun staying out keeping the rain away, the soft grass, the flowers, ever little thing made with design. How vast the sky is my mind could not comprehend only the creator could have.

As we drove down the road surrounded by trees i thought how many times in life do we forget to look up? Look up from our daily lives to see what God has done and is doing. We get so distracted that we forget to take time to look. God is always present we just need to stop and look.

How do we feel accepted by God?

Have you ever wondered how you know you're loved by God? Or wondered how he shows it? Wondered what we do to find His love. This is something I am wondering as we read the God cookie tonight and this subject made me stop and think.

A character in the story was motivated by God working in his life, he was motivated by doing, action. Another said the last time she believed in God when her father for no reason said he loved her, she found love in affirmation. This not far from the truth for many Christians in our walk with God, we all find affirmation in different ways. How many of us yearn for someone to notice what we do within the church by its members. But is this a good thing or should we check our motives? Are we to do works so that the Father takes notice, hoping that by praying for someone we are blessed in return. Motives can be a trap that we unknowingly fall to.

I can be caught up in being selfish because of the want of gain or recognition. Christ did not come to serve but to serve. Serving does not ask or entail being told thank you but is understood as a gift. God does not look how to accept but has already done so on the cross. We are loved from the creator from the start no need to find acceptance from someone who accepts us with our sin. So why struggle to find out how we are loved when from the start we already are. Why not try the best we can by living out what we were created for, worship and to try and live out our faith as faithful servants. Not expecting but watching God work.

ABS

After reading through some info on the American Bible Society and seeing some of the presidents thoughts i can see why they have had some victory. When working with people we can tend to forget that those working are people too and need to be invested into as well. He has a organization that won best work place(christian non-profit) in 2011 for his investment in the people. They saw that there needs to be a depth and a life choice, that faith is not just something we hold but something we do and are. And that by serving eachother and being broken to oneanother there is growth. This is something i can keep in mind this year as we keep heading forward to making oursleves more christlike.

Being a Servant

The idea of serving someone else before seeking to fulfill ones owns needs is an odd concept for most of us. The concept of serving is not a practice shown greatly by much of the American society. Many are looking for their own gain and profit. A get rich fast mentality.

But ive been learning the opposite and seeing what service is and how its a choice that can be made into a lifestyle. Christ said that he did not come for the healthy or the rich, but the lowly and the poor. He came to serve not to be served. How often is that my mind set. How often do i think the effect of opening a door for some one, because even the litttlest of things can be consider serving.

For the first time at the beginning of this past summer i asked God to allow me to be a servant instead of serving myself. And God allowed me to experience it this summer, at times i was thinking ok God I think ive served now, but that's the times when it becomes a choice to lay down my wants and needs for another. I am still learning and serving i am trying to make it a lifestyle and a way I interact. By working in the Different departments here at Sandy Cove I am getting many opportunity's. And getting know some of the people here Like Jon and Vonnie Stemen they opened their home to us convergers and served us and are going through a book and teaching us more about servant hood, so it looks like God heard my prayer.

History

There is something about knowing your past that as a society we put weight on. Knowing where you come from to show you who you may be, create a legacy or change one. Knowing your place in some cultures and taking up after the ones before you. History can be so vague and so specific. Webster Dictonary defines history as such: "A systematic, written account of events, particularly of those affecting a nation, institution, science, or art, and usually connected with a philosophical explanation of their causes; a true story, as distinguished from a romance; -- distinguished also from annals, which relate simply the facts and events of each year, in strict chronological order; from biography, which is the record of an individual's life; and from memoir, which is history composed from personal experience, observation, and memory."

When we think of our history is there some philosophical meaning to the things we do, or some great stories. I think as a nation the American population loves its movies and heroes because of the lack depth within our own lives. Most would rather live in a fantasy world then face reality. But this counterproductive, this is life and history doesn't make itself.

History is a line of events the centers on His story meaning Christ. The birth, life, and death of Jesus Christ is the center and focal point of history. The bible gives a great History into faith, and is used as a guide. All this is blabbering, all to say is that history is important, and through it we can see how His- story has affected it and us.

We learned how Christ's effect was felt here by learning the history of Sandy cove today. It was interesting to see how God used and showed favor on Dr. George Palmer. The founding of this ministry is nothing short of a God workmanship. His son sailing along the river sees the land and tells his father and Dr. Palmer seeing Gods direction asks for it and receives. People donated the money to pay for 200 acres of land.

With this he found a place were people can come get away and connect with God and each other through creation, His word, and community. This being the mission of Sandy Cove it was met and has been a place where it happens ever year. God chose Dr. Palmer for a reason and I believe part of it was because he was so willing to serve which is not something done easily. But he did it with a grateful heart and was used by the creator to create a place of respite for the weary, a place of redemption for the broken and opportunity for those wanting to impact for Christ.

I saw this first hand working at Sandy cove this summer working in Crosswalk a program for Jr high and sr high kids. As a mother of a child broke down in tears because her son found rest and said it had been a long time and was blessed. There were countless stories of God working and it had nothing to do with what we did but everything to do with what we did. We said here we are God use us as Dr. Palmer did. He created a History to be followed a way to create an experience for people to find rest. The song he would have played, "Jesus Never Fails," rang true then and still today becasue he was faithful to the task put before him.

Now its our turn as young people of God what story will we, will I leave behind. Converge is a time for me to work out my faith, to grow in my faith. A time for me to continue my story that hopefully reflects Christ. I'm on a different path then I was a few months ago but I'm excited to see how God will use my Story.